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Grumpy old Santa Claus

Memo from SANTA:
There will be no CHRISTMAS this coming season.
I suppose you want to know my whole reason.
Every year I get this CHRISTMAS list.
The more I read it, the more it gives me fits.
I work all year making CHRISTMAS toys
For all those little girls and boys.
No one wants them. They want IPODS, XBOXES, PLAYSTATION COMPUTERS, COMPUTER GAMES.
Who do they think I am - I.B.M?
I try to make CHRISTMAS bright.
The elves want more money. The REINDEERS
fight. MRS CLAUS hollers at me for
working both day and night. RUDOLF is now
drinking and his nose don't glow.
How am I supposed to see where to go?
My sled is old and needs repair.
It's hard to fly that old sled everywhere.
On CHRISTMAS eve, I am flying, dodging trees,
climbing down chimneys, skinning my knees.
Doing all this, just to fulfill everyone's CHRISTMAS list.
When I am flying over your home,
please don't call me on your cell phone
making one more CHRISTMAS wish,
to bring you a SATELLITE dish.
Everyone must think I'm SAMSON,
to carry that heavy sack. Not me, not any more,
I'm not going to break my back.
Just when I thought things might get better,
the I.R.S. sends me a letter.
Saying I owe taxes. Now isn't that funny.
Who ever heard of anyone sending SANTA any
money? Those money mongers, jerks.
Now you know why I want to scrap the whole works.
Now you know my reason for not having CHRISTMAS this coming season.
Then I started thinking: what
CHRISTMAS would be with no SANTA to
put CHRISTMAS gifts under your CHRISTMAS tree?
So please delete this memo from me.
I will be there again on this coming CHRISTMAS eve.
SO LONG, GOD BLESS, I WISH ALL OF YOU A VERY MERRY, BLESSED CHRISTMAS.

by Robert Ray

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