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Death or life?

Some say death is swift.
Others say it is isn't.
It may be definite or indefinite,
Drawn out or quick.

My death is slow,
the agonizing hurt that I go through...
it's unimaginable.

I go to treatments to get better.
All it feels like is that I'm falling apart quicker and quicker...
into a downward spiral of


I just want it to stop.
Just to get better.
I want to have children.
Then to see them grow.
To die an old woman with my husband.
Not at 19, or 25 like they say.

I will fight....
I cannot give up.
I will not give up.
I WILL survive.

by Ashley Utter

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